As you can imagine, they were somehow a blur, yet forever etched in my mind. I kept thinking that I would soon wake up and this would all just be a horrible nightmare that wasn't real. I believe that I still have not yet truly grieved the loss of Russell; there are just too many things that are unanswered. My faith has been challenged during this time. I know all of this is God's Plan, and that Russell is with Him and has no worries any longer, and is in a better place. I also know that God calls upon us to seek answers, that we don't have to just accept what those in "authority" tell us, that He will give us the knowledge and discernment needed to seek the Truth.
Even in the days following the discovery of Russell's body, things simply didn't seem right. For a while, I attributed this feeling to just not being able to accept his death. That something this tragic had truly happened to my family. Still there has always been this nagging feeling that, at first was a whisper, but has increasingly become a louder and louder scream saying, something is not right ... there HAS to be more to all of this.
One of the first things that struck me as odd (though it wasn't readily clear to me then) was that in the several days in which I had been in WI, not once was there ever anyone from the sheriff's department in our presence. The sheriff stated in an interview with WEAU TV 13, that this was being treated as a Criminal Investigation. If they were investigating, they should have definately had a presence around all functions of Russell's wake and funeral, maybe not "obviously" noticeable, but there in some capacity none the less.
Then of course, there is the anonymous letter that showed up. The letter accusing an unnamed sheriff's deputy of having tasered younger men / boys in the area and leaving them to suffer. There was also the fact the the Sheriff's department released Russell's car and belongings to family only two days after his funeral. There was a Private Investigator hired as well, who didn't turn out to investigate much of anything (in my opinion) and who basically warned us to "not make waves" or "question the sheriff's department in anyway" until he had his chance to speak with them. For months, there were questions we had, but didn't ask, believing the investigator was "doing something".
We also had thought that possibly, there was alcohol involved ... and even though the toxicology reports came back negative, maybe in fact it had metabolized. But, in our own questionings and searching and investigation since that time, it has been proven that no one had seen him drinking, or had been with him drinking, and there was no evidence of alcohol in or around the scene, his car or anywhere else. All along, something has been nagging me ... things just don't add up ... something is definately not right.
Still, it wasn't until late May 2010 that I found a voice ... the strength and courage to make some phone calls of my own and kick off what has now become the search for truth ... for answers; for accountability and the call to find Justice for Russell.
I pray peace, strength, happiness, wellness and love for one and all. May God Bless you and Keep you always, in Jesus' Precious Arms ...
~ Peggy ~
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